well it has been a long time since i have written a journal guys but in guna try again! why not eh.. okay soooo today i went in to school late cos i was studying for plath and stevens..my huge oral commentary on whomever miss Billington decides to pull out of the pile is tomorrow... yes ladies and gentlemen i am peeing my pants... i mean i know the material.. but ..do i know enough? that is the question.. but yah i went after schoo land got lots of help so.. im happy.. :o) ... my back hurts .. it has beeen hurting but its all good.. i just crack back in place !! lol.. i joined the YMCA.. it is soo much fun they have all these classes and stuff ..hip hop class...areobics... its kool... so my life is lookin up.. it has  been pretty bleek the last omonth but things have been getting better week by week.. im still working.. and my family is doing better... my brother is doing better... i miss him sooo much ..my heart sinks everytime i think about how we used to be soo close and now. we jsut arent the same.. i mean we still have that amazing connection and he is stil my best friend..but its soo hard . .now that he has a wife and his job.. i keep getting pushed to the bottom of the pile... it breaks my heart..and u know what else sucks? the fac that everyone is growing up.. and i hate it ... my little .. "LITTLE" sister will be 13 this year.. My big sister jsuted turned 24 my other big sister is going to be 21 and im guna 18....dan is guna be 28.. all i thin kabout is when we all used to paly in the pool together and push each other down and play WWF infront of the TV... now... everyone is engaged (cept me ans liz) and all grown up.. al my friends are growin up too...jen mil abby kt... all going to uni.. anyway.. lol.. im soo happy for Jess and Freddy... Manda and Blake.. they are soo happy its soo good that they have boyfriends..it just sucks cos i want one! lol... noo i dont .... i mean i like sumone yeah.. i always like SOMEONE.. lol... but im in no rush..God will guide me and makes sure i dont get hurt... last time i rushed into a relationship ( Jan) it most definitley did NOT work out.. and relationship before that.. well that is the only relationship thati have ever really wished never happened.. plus he is a lying sack of crap... but ANYWAY..LOL ... holy crap its 4 20.. i ahve to get back to hamlet.... i love all my friends.. and my family... and my extended family.. im glad u are apart of who i am .. and will be... peace oooouuutt... i promise my next entry will be alot happier :o) .. lol..